With all of the complexities involved in helping Bible-believing Christians come up to speed with the crisis of homosexuality, interestingly, the question I have been asked the most (as a pastor) is, “What do I do about my cousin’s (or some other family member or close friend) wedding? He’s (or she’s) gay?” Here’s my answer:
There is only one condition under which you—as a Bible-believing Christian who denounces homosexuality as an abomination in God’s eyes—may attend your friend’s or family member’s gay wedding.
If you can guarantee that every person who attends the wedding (including every person in the wedding party and the two people getting married and the one who is performing the ceremony, and so on) knows that you are only there because you care about the friend or family member who is to be married, and that you unequivocally denounce and reject homosexuality as an abomination to God, then you may attend the wedding.
Weddings are celebrations; events where the Name of God is invoked and the Church gives it approval. It’s called holy matrimony for a reason! Therefore, attending someone’s wedding is an endorsement—your endorsement—of the ceremony, of the love relationship being solemnified, and of homosexuality itself. It is also a declaration that you believe that God endorses homosexuality.
So, practically speaking, a Christian should not attend a gay wedding. Don’t hide behind an excuse or lie and say your busy that day. Lovingly express to your loved one that you can’t condone homosexuality but that you will always love him or her. This action will exemplify a truth that our culture has forgotten: You can disagree with someone and still love them. Disagreement is not hate.