You might never have thought about it—but you might have because my son and I did—but it is impossible for a sports fisherman to catch a blobfish. You can’t. If you have been putting it off or if it’s on your bucket list, forget it. It’s not gonna happen.

One really good reason is that they live of the coast of Australia and Tasmania. I dont even know where Tasmania is. (I could look it up, but I dont want the responsibility that might come with knowing something like that.) Anyway, are you planning to visit Australia or Tasmania? Well, if you plan to catch a blobfish, you’ll have to go there.

If you do go to one or both of those places, you won’t catch a blobfish. You wanna know why? Because they live at a depth of 2,000 to 4,000 feet. There’s no light down there and there is intensely high water pressure. So it’s not gonna happen.

Also, they have no swim bladder. Reading that in context (I refuse to look that term up), I assume that means their bodies don’t hold a shape. So when they are brought up to the surface (accidentally, because I’m telling you, you can’t go and catch one) they have no shape but are just blobs. They have a gelatinous mass.

Further—and because of their gelatinous mass—if you were able to catch a blobfish with your Zebco 33 rod and reel (which you can’t, and besides, what would you use as bait? Nobody knows what they eat down there). Anyway, if you could, the hook would never set because, I’m telling you, they are jello. It would rip right through its mouth.

So those are the reasons you can’t catch a blobfish.

Afterword

By the way, if you meet someone who says he is a blobfish fisherman, he is lying. If there are actually any blobfish fishermen, they are not busy. Wanna know why . . . ?

Categories: Humor

Tags: blobfish